


Special Interests

by ledbythreads



Category: Jimmy Page - Fandom, Led Zeppelin
Genre: Anonymity, Autism, Autism Spectrum, Burnout - Freeform, Epistolary, Experimental Style, Inner Dialogue, Mental Health Issues, No Smut, Not Canon Compliant, Other, Recovery, Self-Acceptance, Self-Discovery, Self-Doubt, Self-Insert, chatroom, difficult to handle, fictionalised meta, screen reader accessible format available on request, self-diagnosis
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-30
Updated: 2020-12-11
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:41:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27803227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ledbythreads/pseuds/ledbythreads
Summary: An old man is talking to a stranger.A reclusive rockstar is online looking for answers.He's not the only one.All will be revealed.
Relationships: @Zoso93 & @Jetboyjetgirl
Comments: 20
Kudos: 12





	1. 404 Page not found

**Zoso93:** Good evening @jetboyjetgirl do you perhaps like The Damned?

 **Jetboyjetgirl** : @Zoso93 I do but it’s more of a joke about my gender :D You like Zep? 🤦🏻♂️ obviously 😊 *blushes*

 **Zoso93:** you might say they have been my life

 **Jetboyjetgirl** : does that count as a special interest @Zoso93? 😉

 **Zoso93:** I’m not entirely sure. I mean how does one determine what is passion and what is obsession, and what is Asperger’s syndrome.

 **Jetboyjetgirl:** I know, right? I had this realization that I was thinking no I can’t be aspie/neurodivergent because surely it wouldn’t feel like this. I mean I feel totally normal to me 🤣 I know it’s ridiculous, but I still have this feeling, well, this thinking that I would feel different. Like what ffs? Like some kind of robot? (hang on sorry Bladerunner replicant moment coming up) sorry I talk too much. I always feel like I’m turned up to 11 and well actually that I’m at 3 and everyone thinks I’m at 11. I mean I’m 50 and I think – how the fuck can I not have noticed?? I mean. Come. On.

 **Zoso93** : When I was 30 I thought I would be dead relatively soon thereafter. When I was fifty, I felt like a child again.

 **Jetboyjetgirl** : I’m sorry you ever felt like that @Zoso93

 **Zoso93** : It felt entirely factual. I don’t recall being particularly distressed about it.

 **Jetboyjetgirl:** I don’t know what to say. Do you think that was burnout then? Autistic burnout?

 **Zoso93:** I loved my work. I was incredibly productive. Top of my field. People could find me difficult but my manager at the time was very supportive. I worked in a very small team. I was the team leader, but they were a tight unit, and all consummate professionals. Nobody talked much about mental health back then as long as you could keep functioning. We developed a line of uniquely innovative products and our output depended on quite an insular environment where I was left to do the engineering and design work as I saw fit. Sometimes I was working 20-hour days. My health suffered, but I was ultimately absorbed in the detail of the detail. I wonder now if my industry had a high proportion of neurodiverse people. It was certainly easy to put one’s behaviors down to the environment.

 **Jetboyjetgirl:** yeah, I work in healthcare and an ability to hyperfocus and ignore your body for 13hours is certainly an advantage. I had a breakdown last year and honestly being creative, writing, listening to music, that was all I wanted to do. I couldn’t connect to anyone. Not even my partner.

 **Zoso93:** @jetboyjetgirl Well I had one person. He was the only one who could reach me. Till he couldn’t.

 **Jetboyjetgirl:** were you lovers?

_Zoso93 has left the chat_

_tbc_


	2. Come and play

**Zoso93:** I regret if I appeared uncivil the other day @Jetboyjetgirl

**Jetboyjetgirl:** Well that’s to be expected isn’t it? I mean I prefer text-based communication, but it can still be overwhelming can’t it?

**Crocus:** NTs always think I’m being rude when I am being honest, or especially when I’m being *helpful*. Like I noticed they are always wondering about things, but they don’t actually want the answer. It’s like they want to not know *together*. So, like at work they were all bonding about why they google something and then get adds about it and I explained about cookies and privacy settings and it killed. The. Conversation. Dead. 

**Zoso93** : @Crocus NTs?

@Jetboyjetgirl I was called away unexpectedly I do dislike to be so abrupt

**Jetboyjetgirl** : @Zoso93 Neurotypicals *bows* look at me employing shibboleths 😄 Oh good I thought I had said something wrong

**Zoso93:** The bliss of ignorance @Crocus ‘the sin which is unpardonable is to knowingly reject truth’

**Crocus:** @Zoso93 fab quote, who said that?

**Zoso93:** I read it somewhere

@Jetboyjetgirl quite the reverse. It was a relief to be able to explore certain ideas.

**Aspiedistraflying** : @Crocus what you should do is ask them if they really want to know, and then if they do you should keep things concise and avoid info-dumping with them.

**Zoso93** : I have always felt that if a person knows what he is talking about then the onus is on others to adjust. I haven’t the faintest idea why it is considered anything but convivial.

**Aspiedistraflying** : Crocus’ pronouns are she/her so I’m not sure why you feel you can misgender her @Zoso93 as this is a safe space for all.

**Zoso93** : I don’t have the slightest idea what you are referring to.

**Aspiedistraflying** : You said if Crocus knew what she was talking about “others should adjust” but apparently you don’t want to adjust to her gender identity.

**Jetboyjetgirl** : @Aspiedistraflying Zoso is using ‘he’ generically *rolls eyes at him*

**Crocus** : I didn’t feel misgendered. Is anyone else trying to get a diagnosis through work? I’m really worried if I go through HR then they will tell my boss.

**Zoso93** : I was referring to myself. I’m perfectly capable of collaboration but often people need direction. Is that controversial? @Crocus I think the least you tell other people the better.

**Aspiedistraflying** : My son obtained his diagnosis through work and now he’s doing really well so @Crocus you should think seriously about making a plan with HR

**Jetboyjetgirl** : Oh, that’s cool Aspiedistra, you son is autistic too :D I know that’s pretty common.

**Aspiedistraflying** : @Jetboyjetgirl No? why do you assume I have autism?

**Jetboyjetgirl** : I’m confused

**Zoso93** : @Jetboyjetgirl and dazed?

**Jetboyjetgirl** : @zoso93 for so long it’s not true…

**Aspiedistraflying** : I don’t think those types of in-jokes are useful in this forum. Many people with autism struggle to understand sarcasm and parody.

@jetboyjetgirl has left the chat

@Zoso93 has left the chat

@crocus has left the chat

**@Jetboyjetgirl DM** @Zoso93 Steal away?

**@Zoso93 DM** @Jetboyjetgirl Yes please.

I miss him. My friend. Nobody else understood me the way he did. Nobody could make me laugh like he did. He has a way with words. He made enough jokes for both of us. He loved that song.

**@Jetboyjetgirl** Another Zep fan?

**@Zoso93** : Well, I’m not sure he likes them anymore, his taste is quite eclectic. Once though, he told me he was Jimmy Page’s biggest fan and I believed him. 

**@Jetboyjetgirl:** What about you?

**@Zoso93** : Ha, too much some would say. Ok, well Jones is an incredible musician; Bonham was the best drummer I _ever_ heard.

**@Jetboyjetgirl:** WOW you heard them live?

**@Zoso93:** more than once

Page? I’m not sure about. People say he’s a genius, but I think it was hard work and persistence as much as talent.

**@Jetboyjetgirl:** And Robert?

**@Zoso93:** I love him. So much. I loved him from the first time I heard him. I still do. That voice. That body.

**@Jetboyjetgirl:** And your friend?

**@Zoso93:** Oh yes, he loves Robert Plant alright. He’s obsessed with his solo career.

I need to go. I want to say. Not just leave. I hate when people just leave.

**@Jetboyjetgirl** : Sure. DM me any time.

@Zoso93 is offline

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The discussion about neurotypical bonding over shared incomprehension was inspired by a real life thread on reddit.   
> @Zoso93's unaccredited quote is of course from Aleister Crowley.

**Author's Note:**

> "Tell me, darlin', which way to go" - The Rover | Led Zeppelin |1975 
> 
> So nobody is diagnosing anyone - this is a work of fiction with some autobiographical elements. This is fictionalized meta about how my character Jimmylove looks to me with shiny new neurodiverse goggles on. He talks to me on long walks. 
> 
> ps - This type of text will be awful in most screen readers (I know because I use voicedream) - my contacts are in my profile and if you need a more accessible format then I may be able to email you one without all the chatnames and emoji.


End file.
